You Have Always Been Whole

Have you ever felt like you’re broken?

Like you’re not good enough... unworthy of love, belonging, and connection?

I certainly have. Most recently, just this weekend.

On my birthday, no less.

Sadly, this is a common experience,

especially for those of us who grew up in homes infected with generational trauma.

And this is really hard to reckon with

because there is no blame to assign,

but we must be careful not to minimize the harm it caused.

For me, it shows up as self-doubt and a fear of being seen,

particularly (and perplexingly) when I’m with people who really see and love me.

The little girl inside who never felt wanted or accepted as I was,

becomes terrified that the people who I feel so connected to now,

might decide that I’m too much, or not enough.

My heart begins to ache,

and I have an overwhelming urge to hide… and cry… and disconnect…

A pattern I repeated quite often as a child.

Tears are welling up as I write this. It's still tender.

I’ve wrestled with this feeling in most of my relationships, for most of my life.

It’s only as I’ve deepened my Self-Love practice,

that I’m able to be Aware of these feelings when they show up

and give myself what I truly need in those moments ~

my own love, compassion, and understanding.

The comfort of my own arms wrapped around me.

In the process, I’ve learned something profoundly healing:

I’m not broken. And neither are you.

✨ We always were, and always will be, Whole.

When those feelings of unworthiness or ‘brokenness’ arise,

a wounded part of us is asking to be seen and loved,

exactly as it is.

These wounded parts don’t need to be fixed, transmuted, or released —

those energies only deepen the wound and sharpen the pain,

because they echo what created the wound in the first place.

The wounded parts of us simply need what they always needed —

to be seen, heard, and Allowed to experience painful feelings,

while being tenderly held, welcomed, and loved.

It’s a wonderful gift when someone else offers this.

But when love and grace come only from the outside,

it’s a temporary band aid at best,

not the medicine that actually sooths our longing for Wholeness…

Our own love is the only true healing balm.

When the ‘not good enough’ feelings get triggered (and they will),

Your heart is inviting you inward.

Your tender parts are begging for your love and attention.

Your own compassion and unconditional Self-Love

become the welcoming arms you always longed for ~

reminding you of your inherent worth,

soothing the ache, as you soften back into yourself.

We all have parts of us that feel unworthy,

but we cannot ‘release’ those parts.

The work isn’t to get rid of them;

It’s to bring them back home, into our loving embrace.

All parts of you have always been, and will always be,

essential for your Wholeness.

Love the broken pieces of yourself, and watch how they integrate beautifully into Wholeness.

❤️‍🩹 The next time you feel the pangs of not-good-enoughness,

I encourage you to wrap your arms around yourself,

get curious, and see what happens if you shift the pattern by saying,

 “I see you, I hear you, I know why these feelings are here and they're welcome.

I love and embrace all parts of myself. I Am Always Whole.”

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I'm honored to be sharing this journey of remembering our Wholeness.

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Let’s rise together ~ in Love & Light,

Jaime

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