Trusting My Heart to Lead

The beginning of October is always heavy for me.

23 years ago, I lost a close friend and roommate to a brutal murder.

10 years ago, my father passed away suddenly from a heart attack.

He was on his way to visit me.

Every year when October begins, my body remembers.

No matter how hard my mind tries to make me forget.

This year, it also falls on the heels of the Hurricane Helene anniversary —

the natural disaster that wrecked my beloved mountains beyond recognition.

I've been feeling extra tired, foggy, and disconnected...

a visceral response in my body to the weight of these losses.

For many years now, I’ve bypassed these feelings.

I’ve shut down emotionally as a protective mechanism.

I’ve always kept it together, stoic and practical, pushing forward —

just like the long line of women in my family

who learned not to feel their emotions, as a necessary means of survival.

But shutting down meant I wasn’t being true to myself.

I wasn’t honoring my need to grieve,

or giving myself grace for these understandably heavy feelings.

✨ When we bury our emotions, we muddy the truth of our heart.

I love myself too much now

to keep suppressing my truth.

So this year, I’m showing up for myself with tender presence.

In the last couple of posts,

I shared how Acknowledgment is essential for Self-Love ~

before we can truly Be present with ourselves, we must clearly See ourselves.

And as the leaves start to fall this October,

I’m letting go of the need to suppress my grief…

I’m honoring the truth of what my body has been holding onto.

Instead of pushing through, stoically ignoring, or ‘fixing’ the feelings,

I’m telling my protective mind that it can take a back seat

and trusting my heart to lead the way.

I’m Acknowledging what my body’s been trying to show me.

I’m gently, curiously, Asking my heart what it needs,

and I’m practicing Self-Love by listening.

I’m simply Being present with what arises, and holding myself in it ~

with love, compassion, and deep self-connection.

First, Awareness shines light on what’s been buried inside,

and then Acknowledgement helps us to clearly see the truth within us.

We honor our truth by holding a space of compassionate curiosity

and gently Asking our heart what it needs from us.

When we trust our inner knowing enough to follow through,

we’re showing up for ourselves by Allowing love to lead the way.

When we let go of the need to bury emotions, the body can speak its truth, and the heart can lead.

🍂 What feelings have you kept buried in your body?

I invite you to close your eyes, take a deep breath,

place a hand over your heart, and Ask,

“What truth does my heart need me to know?”

... May you listen with compassion, and trust your answers.

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Let’s rise together ~ in Love & Light,

Jaime

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